Cursed or tasteless names: where has the creativity of car manufacturers gone?

Choosing a name for a new model is not always easy, especially when it has to be sold internationally. An unfortunate choice can have serious consequences for sales, become the laughing stock of customers, or even create diplomatic incidents. Will all creativity in this area disappear? I ask myself this question often, especially with this tendency of developers to want to relearn how to count from 1 to 10 with their models.

Not always the best within the more experienced car groups. We saw proof of this this week with Stellantis, who got his feet wet with his Alfa Romeo. Milano Junior. Yes, it was impossible for me not to refer to the cursed name of Alfa Romeo in this editorial.

When it doesn’t want it, it doesn’t want it

On April 10, Alfa Romeo unveiled its latest model. Since December, the brand has announced that it will be called Milano, in honor of the Italian city. The choice was even put to a public vote. But while the media coverage is good for the Italian brand, the way is increasing from Italy.

In the current open war between Stellantis and the Italian government, a minister has decided that the Milano name is misleading, because the car is not made in Italy. This is against Italian law – used to protect Italian food. It is true that the model is assembled in Poland, like the Jeep Avenger and other models of the same size. Stellantis was pleased to choose to change Milano’s name to Junior from April 15. It was the name used internally and the second choice by the public. Honor is safe, and the episode continues to create (almost) buzz about this new feature.

What’s even more interesting is that this is not the first time the Milano name has caused problems for Alfa Romeo. In 2009, the company Alfa Romeo Milano was supposed to see the light of day, but the closing of the factory near the city caused a lot of anger. The model was eventually renamed before being formalized as the Giulietta, which was timely. Even before, at the end of the 80s, the version of the Alfa Romeo 75 released for the American market was given the name “Milano”, it was a flop across the Atlantic. This name seems cursed: it’s time to put it away for good.

At least Stellantis still has the names of the real models

Stellantis generally doesn’t take many risks with its car names, and it’s not the only one to do so. This brand refers to names that they still have rights to. Some boxes are still filled with original names. As with every rule, there must be an exception, the group is not happy with Citroën and DS: (e-)C3/(e-)C4/(e-)C4X and DS3/DS4/DS7/DS9 .

This tendency to run to the bottom is not new, but it has often been amplified by new electric ranges. In the lot, I put all the combinations with the prefix assigned to the number: i4/i5/i7, ID 3/4/5/7, EV 2/3/4/5/9, Ioniq 5/6/9, Model 2/3 , MG 3/4/5, Q4/Q6/Q8. At the top of this list, I put the Smart names: #1 and #3, to pronounce “hashtag one”, because “hashtag one” is bad.

These names have the advantage of not suffering (much) from accidental interpretations. Although the Xiaomi SU7, pronounced “lollipop” in French, proves the opposite. In the days of the Ford T in 1908, it might have been revolutionary to use letters or numbers, but in 2024, it’s really lame. My apologies to the marketing departments involved!

Before finishing, it is impossible to mention some manufacturers who invented the “wifi code” model names, a recent innovation… Toyota for its bZ4X and Honda for its e:ny1 (pronounced “anyone” in English). I didn’t know) rule beautifully this new style.

Please, builder friends, make us dream a little more!

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